ctammy.tumblr.com

5 holes

FUCK thinking things through. i like having to deal with shit.

live with it.

LOL

that moment

when was it cause i dont remember
when did you turn from a goof to the man i ended up falling for

when was that moment cause i don't really understand
when you were my best friend and then turned into that immature boy, the kind i thought you'd never be. at least to me. the kind that breaks my heart?

was i really that blind. or am i blind now?

when did you decide it was okay to see me, turn around and keep walking

when did i think it was ok to drop hints with clean hearts on dirty cars

when did i let my guard down?

i always say at the end of things "i should have known, should have fuckin known" but really i never really know until im surprised

didnt know that your love-making to me was you fucking me over

excusing your intentions

And I'm forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us

I best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love

I'm the only one in love

Why Do You Steal My Hand

When I am Standing My Own Ground?

(see syd, its not about you! haha)

BACK TO BLACK! troubles burned

puhpuhpuh painting as a disease

dreaaamy


who we are
who we got
who are soulsuckers

stop sucking my soul!

he left no time to regret, kept his dick wet
with his same old safe bet
me and my head high and my tears dry
get on without my guy
you went back to what you knew
so far removed from all that we went through

heavy heart

until that real man stands up

im gonna have to improvise.

what up trey!

fill my eyes with sun!

i keep smelling the grape swisher sweet tobacco everywhere, need to clean apartment. already made amazing progress.

THINGS TO FUCKIN DO:
in order of priority.
-read the reading for painting class!
-take photos, shutterspeed assgn. + push film, b+w lab on saturday after work
-buy photo plate and do aquatint!! call homie and ask what i missed on monday
-raw canvas + stretch own canvas. PAINT!
-buy illustration boards/cut
-leasing office
-PAY YOUR FUCKIN BILLSS GIRRRRL
-call aunt
-get a tabletop!
-paint tables
-rrrreeeeeaaaaadddd
-this is last but feels like it should be first. but more rolling papers!!!!

i can't believe one of my teachers encouraged me smoking weed as an anti-depressant hehehe

things i WANT to do:
-cathizzles birthday
-san diego with charity
-animal saving volunteer work
-dance
-sleeeeeeeeep
-shop (impossible)
-

i wanna live goooood so shiiiiiit i sell dope for a four fingered ring

i hate how time is a restriction. i want to live somewhere timeless! everyone needs to slow down and CTFO.

you idiot

sometimes i just want to be straight up.
flat out and to the point: GO HOME.

fatty to the dome

get your mind right get your grind right.